04.01.05 Special
Edition: In an obvious attempt to take some of the
limelight away from the corporate issues that surround Disney's
parent company, Disney World has just released a number of details
about upcoming attractions for their internationally renowned theme
parks.
"The key is adventure, excitement and danger," says Disney
spokesman Maximilian Hazzarde, in speaking about the theme for this
year's innovative amusements.
"We want people to feel the illusion that they're about to die
any minute, while still maintaining Disney's extraordinary level of
safety. In searching for some of the greatest hazards in the world,
we looked at a number of possible themes for a new series of thrill
rides. We looked at Great White Shark hunting off the Barrier Reef
of Australia, Ice-Climbing Everest's most challenging faces, and
even insulting P. Diddy's current girlfriend at his favorite club
(with a full posse in tow)... but nothing quite got the adrenalin
pumping thorough our veins like trying to survive the Sun 'n Fun
Fly-in."
"We have a number of rides that directly reflect some of the
established hazards we've seen at one of the
most hazardous aviation events in the world. The
'Paradise City Roulette' ride allows a Disney visitor to make a
downwind takeoff off a short grass runway with obstacles on both
ends... one side with ditches, trees and a fence line, the other is
a parking lot, part of it handicapped parking no less -- just like
the real thing!
Another ride, the 'Lake
Parker Confrontation' puts the rider in a small aircraft circling
the same area, with hundreds of other aircraft, all jockeying for
permission to head for the airport... and the hit or miss thrills
are a real scare! The Prop-Dodge ride is a recent addition
reflecting the close quarters that people have to negotiate at the
Fly-In, the only event in the world that we've seen where real-live
people are allowed so close to moving airplanes and moving
propellers -- it's a real challenge to stay clear of all those
planes... but we also expect that it will be good practice for the
real thing."
Disney's latest move reflects the renewed American taste for
danger sports, while still maintaining some semblance of safety
(due to the fact that all the dangers are simulated and not real...
unlike the actual Fly-In).
Disney is looking forward to seeing how this amusement is
received, and if it proves to be popular, other such rides are
being considered... including one based on flying in the deadly
Mini-500 sport helicopter, though Disney admits that, "even that
might seem too perilous a situation to simulate... we're not sure
that current tastes allow us to simulate that high a degree of
risk -- Sun 'n Fun seems bad enough."