Wed, Apr 01, 2015
Says It Will Be Perfect For Personal, Business Travel
ANN’s April 1 “April Fool” Edition
President Barack Obama has signed an executive order transferring ownership of Air Force One to himself as of 1200 EST on January 20th 2017.
“The American People should be proud to have me continuing to travel in the manner to which I’ve become accustomed,” President Obama said in remarks prior to the signing ceremony. “Since I’m Constitutionally prohibited from serving a third and fourth term, and I’m unlikely to figure out how to circumvent that prohibition, I’ll just take the airplane. The American people owe me that much. I’m just saving taxpayers money by eliminating that whole “government surplus auction” step for this asset.”
It was announced last year that Boeing would be building the next Air Force One on a 747 platform, and the new airplane will now likely be placed at top of the list for the planemaker. SPEEA Executive Director Ray Goforth said that his members would be more than willing to step up to the plate and fast-track the next AF-1 to give Obama the old one. “We built that thing years ago,” Goforth said. “It’s an older model and Hillary … er … the next President deserves a newer aircraft. Obama’s always been our guy. Let’s send him off in Boeing style.”
“Executive orders are great. I can do almost anything,” President Obama was overheard to say as he signed the document. “What a great way to go golfing in my retirement. This will turn heads on the ramp.”
The Republican Congressional Leadership publicly fumed, but did little to stop the move. Legislation was introduced to prevent the transfer, but they could not muster the votes to pass it. “We’d get accused of shutting down the government somehow if this is blocked,” said House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-OH), “and that’s what we fear the most.”
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