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Tue, Apr 01, 2008

A380 Under Fire by 'Green' Lobby

Mammoth Aircraft Creates Extensive Sun Blockage And Resultant Climate Change

ANN APRIL 1st "SPECIAL" EDITION: Airbus's gigantic (i.e., REALLY REALLY BIG) A380 airliner is under attack again... and by a lobby that it once courted quite aggressively. Following a NASA study of radical, sporadic and unexplained climatological issues all over the planet, the mystery was solved when an astute scientist (who reportedly owns over 1000 shares of Boeing stock) correlated the climatological problems with the growing Airbus A380 flight schedule.

NASA Climatologist Ernst Overcast was able to conclusively prove that the mammoth area of the A380, at normal cruising altitudes created such a large swath of sun blockage that a "climate shift was inevitable." The matter was immediately seized upon as the cause celebre by a number of environmentally sympathetic persons and organizations. GreenPeace promised to block access to A380 manufacturing facilities worldwide and send nasty notes to A380 operators's Mothers, to boot.

Numerous musicians, including Barbara Streisand have called for the airplane to be outlawed and forbidden from flying over much of the Earth's surface while organizing anti-A380 protest concerts (typified by a mass influx/migration of performer's Gulfstreams close to show time). Former VP Al Gore is rumored to be filming a follow-up documentary at the moment, tentatively titled "An Inconvenient But Way-Too-Damned-Big Airplane." Oscar voters report great enthusiasm for the upcoming project.

Airbus is promising major changes tot he airplane in order to appease the environmental objections. A new refractive paint is being evaluated that will allow the aircraft to "redirect" the sun's light around the airplane in such a way as to negate much of the shadowing effect that the current aircraft makes happen.

In the meantime, Airbus is buying "A380-Loads" of carbon-offsets in the hopes that the gesture will give them sufficient time to engineer a fix.

FMI: www.itainteasybeinggreenwhenyouaint.org

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