Garmin Announces End-to-End Trip Planning, MPG Monitoring

Special 04.01.23 Parody Edition: Not to be outdone by an advancing avionics field, Garmin never-ending search for more Aero-money, has brought about the newest iteration of their G3X$$ Touch EFIS replete with door-to-door trip planning, multimedia, and health monitoring.

“We knew it wouldn’t be enough to take on Garmin with a good in-flight experience,” said Stans Martiuvec, the first person to pick up the department phone at Garmin (He should be an engineer). “Everyone has synthetic vision and trip planning, satellite weather, and autopilot. That’s why we looked outside the cockpit to make sure our G3X$$ Touch has it all.”

Taking a page from a bevy of smart devices, phones, and tablets, Garmin G3X$$ Touch now offers comprehensive Bluetooth and Wifi support, to connect to everything under the sun from media players to heart monitors. Now, G3X$$ Touch can provide an accurate ETA using a combination of traffic tracking, routine machine learning, and personal preference all the way down to waking pilots up at the right time. Now, operators can sleep in and rest easy, knowing G3X Touch has perfectly planned out their itinerary down to the minute - even implementing appropriate bathroom stops when provided with at least 36 hours of the pilot’s dietary intake. Once leaving the home or hotel, Garmin’s Car-vidyne software guides pilots around speed traps, construction areas, and school zones to get them to the plane as fast as possible.

“It’s amazing,” said Martiuvec. “Like, say you keep track of your diet and keep loading it into the aircraft, and you eat at Taco Bell the night before your checkride. Garmin Touch will automatically route your flight plan through airports with the most luxurious bathrooms along your route! It even tells you which roads to take home from the airport, even down to helping you divert around DUI checkpoints. It's a real slick piece of equipment."

And keeping your life in order isn’t all Garmin can do. Now, G3X$$ Touch is able to manage the pilot’s body just like the plane! Tracking heart rate in flight is as easy as connecting a Bluetooth-enabled pulse oximeter or implanted pacemaker to the panel-installed Garmin Healthguard app, with full support for Weight Watchers™ Points®, EEG, EKG, and sleep tracking when using a connected phone, tablet, or smartwatch.

“We thought there had to be a way to get pilots back into the cockpit,” said program director Melissa Andross. “So we turned the Garmin G3X$$ Touch into your own personal information hub. Want to eat healthier? Just head out and connect your smartphone to the plane to keep track of how you’re meeting your nutritional goals. Put in a really good workout at the gym? Make sure to drop by the airport on your way back home to log your Garmin Healthpoints™ - a free and easy way to trade for future map updates (no cash value--except, of course, to Garmin).”

G3X$$ Touch does far more than that. Both the primary and secondary screens now come pre-installed with all your favorite streaming apps like Disney+ and Netflix - with NO software lockouts in any phase of flight.

“I really love how I’m only a keypress away from using all 12 inches of that beautiful, rich LCD screen to watch my favorite media,” said one Diamond pilot in the beta test program. “Whether I’m sitting in line behind half a dozen Cessna 172’s at Deer Valley, or shooting an approach into the soup at KOAK, I’m able to enjoy all my favorite shows front and center in my panel - right where they belong!”

Garmin G3X$$ Touch Version 4.1.0.1 is available only on April 1st, 2023.

FMI: www.Garmin.com