Fri, Jan 04, 2008
Wait... Dave Barry Charges HOW Much?
by ANN Managing Editor [And Second Choice] Rob Finfrock
Somewhere in between the good news of 2007, and the bad, there
lies the offbeat... the surreal... and, the downright disturbing.
Reporting the year's "weird" aviation stories made for some
interesting times for the ANN staff -- often providing a
much-needed chuckle, or a welcome, 300-word escape into the
absurd.
Alas, when recapping these stories we found we just couldn't
leave "weird" enough alone... and felt compelled to add our own
commentary, too.
On behalf of the ANN staff, I hope you enjoy the
following. We sure did.
January
United Airlines employees at Chicago
O'Hare claim they see a UFO hovering over the field A metal object, the size of a golf ball
and weighing nearly a pound, punches though the roof of a home in
Monmouth County, NJ A Canadian artist announces his plan to
float a giant, banana-shaped blimp over Texas A man traveling onboard a United Airlines
flight is stung by a scorpion The TSA contemplates advertisements in
security bins at checkpoints Former FEMA Deputy Patrick Rhode is hired
as a senior advisor to agency Administrator Michael
Griffin In his book 'Boeing Versus Airbus', author
John Newhouse claims former Airbus CEO Jean Pierson 'dropped trou'
to land a 400-plane deal with US Airways A wayward cat survives three weeks in the
cargo hold of a United Airlines 747 Inspired, perhaps, by the example set by former CEO Pierson, Airbus engineers conduct extensive,
real-world tests of the lavatories destined for the A380
superjumbo
February
A 73-year-old Manhattan woman sues
JetBlue, after she was allegedly removed from a flight for asking
if she could have a super-sized airsickness bag Scientists adapt a miniature helicopter
with an electronic brain that simulates the way insects view
flight, which they say could lead to better flight characteristics
for unmanned aircraft A Qantas flight attendant is accused of
having a mile-high encounter with actor Ralph Fiennes on a flight
from Sydney, Australia. In yet another example of former Airbus CEO Jean
Pierson's influence on contemporary culture, a German tourist drops his pants before
walking through an X-ray machine at Ninoy Aquino
International
What seemed at first like a stylish,
trendy logo for an upstart Belgian airline -- 13 spheres, forming a
lowercase "b" -- is met with protest from superstitious
passengers ANN asks the question, How Do You Misplace A Dog That Walks Like
A Person?
Speaking of American, one of its 757s lands at Dallas/Fort Worth
International sans one of its two nosewheels
March
Wakefield, England-based Yorkshire Air
Ambulance comes up with a unique and successful fund-raising
strategy: it asks women to donate their bras Idaho TSA Director Douglas Craig Melvin
resigns from his post at the agency, after he allegedly entered the
swimming area at a Boise hotel, stripped bare and proceeded to walk
naked around the pool 28-year Northwest Airlines pilot Field
McConnell alleges Boeing and the ALPA are part of a conspiracy to
plant remote-controlled explosives onboard the very 747-400
airliners he flies After quaffing two large beers, and then boarding a
SkyWest regional jet with an inop bathroom, passenger James Whipple tests the
leakproof qualities of an airsickness bag
ISS astronauts feast on dishes prepared by
self-proclaimed domestic diva Martha Stewart, compliments of
billionaire 'tourinaut' Charles Simonyi An FAA manager in North Carolina sends an
email to other supervisors, instructing them to be careful in their
use of an apparently offensive word: "staffing."
April
A United Airlines flight attendant is
arrested at Dulles International Airport for allegedly carrying a
concealed handgun aboard a flight from Atlanta A Honolulu-bound Delta Air Lines 767
diverts to San Francisco when a female passenger is caught smoking
in the lavatory, and becomes disruptive A student pilot and his instructor suffer
minor injuries when the cadet accidentally ejects from his
Harvard II, before a planned training flight The search for a mouse delays a
Vietnam Airlines flight to Tokyo for more than four
hours Expedition 15 cosmonaut Fyodor Yurchikhin
indicates Microsoft founder Bill Gates is considering a flight into
space An Indonesian 747 is forced to turn around
when controllers notify the pilots a nuclear-capable ballistic
missile was launched in their vicinity A British commercial airline pilot and
several passengers report seeing two UFOs, each larger than a 737,
in the skies over the island of Guernsey (Cue the "Monty
Python" theme.)
May
News surfaces an environmental agreement
signed by Boeing and Virgin Atlantic contains a stipulation for
Virgin CEO Sir Richard Branson and Boeing Chairman Jim McNerney to
drop some pounds Texas State University scraps plans to
build the nation's largest "body farm" -- which, if you were
wondering, is exactly what it sounds like -- near the San Marcos
Municipal Airport (HYI) The United Kingdom's Civil Aviation
Authority launches an investigation into a "one-foot square slab"
that fell from a small plane onto a tennis court in Jesmond,
England. Argentine researchers say a common
prescription drug is effective in combating jet lag. Cairo Airport Customs officers detain a
man bound for Saudi Arabia, who attempted to smuggle 700
snakes in his carry-on luggage their counterparts in
Denver A swarm of bees, some 20,000 strong, is
sucked into an engine on a Palmair 737 departing Bournemouth
International Airport in England, forcing a return to the airport
on one engine Boulder, CO resident Greg Camalier
receives a 12-month deferred sentence for trespassing on public
property, after he ran onto the Boulder Municipal Airport (BDU)
grounds, and shouted and cursed at aircraft overhead, screaming he
was going to "shut this airport down" -- a tirade that forced one
aircraft to abort its landing approach him down
(this isn't a joke, per se, as much as an observation. If
you're gonna go blind with rage... an airport tarmac isn't the
smartest place to do it. That's all I'm saying.) Director Mike Figgis, best known for his
film "Leaving Las Vegas", is purportedly detained for five hours
following an encounter with security at Los Angeles International
Airport. 'Harry Potter and the Dubious Attempt To Reassure Jittery
Passengers With The Illusion Of Security' ...
June
Thieves make off with an Apache helicopter
targeting system -- and nothing else -- after breaking into a
Lockheed Martin facility in Orlando. An unemployed Chinese man is able to
bypass security and board a flight to his home province of Guizhou,
wearing a pilot's uniform he bought online. Upstart low-cost carrier Virgin America
announces the results of its poll of would-be customers, to suggest
names for eight of the airline's first Airbus A320s. Delta Air Lines pilot Edward Smythe
allegedly punches a US Customs agent in the back at JFK
International, as the agent tried to intervene in a heated argument
between Smythe and an airline worker over two wheelchairs the pilot
said should have been provided for passengers deplaning from his
flight Passengers boarding a Vueling Airlines jet
discover all but three of the 32 seat rows on one side of the
aircraft are cordoned off with tape. The plane's pilot tries to
reassure them, saying "don't worry, it's only a safety
problem." Natalie Meilinger is shocked to discover
her newborn son's baby monitor is picking up the NASA TV
video feed A 100,000 square-foot silhouette of a
naked female pole dancer, in a field along the flight path for
airliners arriving at departing England's Gatwick Airport, is
visible to thousands of airline passengers each day. The TSA responds in a most unusual way
when news breaks about an incident at Reagan National Airport: by
posting video footage on the web of the event, showing screeners as
they attempt to confiscate a child's "sippy cup" at a
checkpoint. More than 200 passengers on a
transatlantic Continental Airlines flight are subjected to more
than bad food and stiff legs -- they have to endure seven hours in
the air with raw sewage on the cabin floor, after a lav toilet
malfunctions. Turkish fish farmer Mehmet Kara watches in
horror as a firefighting helicopter fills its tanks from his pond
-- twice -- making off with some 40,000 fish in the
process Air traffic controllers get creative in
showing their displeasure over a new, FAA-imposed dress
code. that's not the worst of it --
one unidentified controller is sent home, without pay, after
showing up for work wearing a pale khaki, button-down,
short-sleeve "Aero-News Network" workshirt (sorry, Jim, but
it's true, those things are awful)...
We'll Wrap Up The "Year In Weird" Next Week...
Advertisement
More News
Airbus Racer Demonstrator Makes Inaugural Flight Airbus Helicopters' ambitious Racer demonstrator has achieved its inaugural flight as part of the Clean Sky 2 initiative, a corners>[...]
A little Bit Quieter, Said Testers, But in the End it's Still a DA40 Diamond Aircraft recently completed a little pilot project with Lufthansa Aviation Training, putting a pair of >[...]
Line Up And Wait (LUAW) Used by ATC to inform a pilot to taxi onto the departure runway to line up and wait. It is not authorization for takeoff. It is used when takeoff clearance >[...]
Contributing To The Accident Was The Pilot’s Use Of Methamphetamine... Analysis: The pilot departed on a local flight to perform low-altitude maneuvers in a nearby desert val>[...]
From 2015 (YouTube Version): Overcoming Obstacles To Achieve Their Dreams… At EAA AirVenture 2015, FedEx arrived with one of their Airbus freight-hauling aircraft and placed>[...]
Airbus Racer Helicopter Demonstrator First Flight Part of Clean Sky 2 Initiative
See All