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Sun, Apr 01, 2007

Shock And Awe: Cessna To Produce Recreational Watercraft

Aircraft Producer Aims To Corner Market Utilizing "Untapped Synergies"

ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: What many originally thought was simply a free lunch junket away from the Wichita manufacturer's factory, ended up being a jaw-dropping announcement from Cessna which left the entire press corps scrambling for ink. Cessna Aircraft CEO Jack Pelton stunned invited attendees and press officials at an impromptu picnic at Cheney Reservoir, 25 miles West of Wichita, KS.

This much is clear: Cessna Aircraft Company is launching a sister company, Cessna Watercraft Company.

"The impetus for this is what we label 'untapped synergies' in the aerospace business. Cessna has perhaps the greatest collective talent in manufacturing of motive craft, and our distribution and support network is unequalled. While developing the operating budget for the 'next generation' Cessna composite singles, we realized that the tooling and expertise required to shift from sheet metal to composites was a massive capital investment. We desperately needed to offset that risk."

Pelton offered the origin of the risky venture.

"During a routine brainstorming session for cost-cutting methods one of our engineers joked about how 'props are for boats.' WHAM! It hit me like a German sausage across the face; we'll leverage our surplus composite capacity to build boats!"

Pelton immediately realized he'd struck synergistic gold, which he plans to parlay into hydrodynamic success. "Now we can take advantage of the old 'props are for boats' adage... but with a Cessna logo on it!"

Pelton is obviously proud of the company's latest bold, perhaps risky venture. When gently reminded about Toyota's painfully unsuccessful foray into the watersport market in the 1990s, Jack nonchalantly chalks it up to arrogance.

"Look, Toyota saw an opportunity, but simply couldn't execute. For example, have you seen their Formula 1 team? It's a joke. NASCAR? Are they even still racing in NASCAR? We're talking about proven American engineering here. Who knows more about props than us!? We're Cessna. We practically invented the prop! We're the NASCAR of aircraft, baby!"

Jack also announced that the Cessna Customer Conference in May would include return to Cheney Reservoir in the form of a bass fishing competition for select customers... in a prototype Cessna watercraft perhaps?

Pelton would only smile. "I guess you'll have to come to the conference and see for yourself." To that we say "clear prop!"

FMI: www.cessnawatersports.com

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