Seeking to increase his customer base among Bizjet owners
throughout the world, Aero-Entrepreneur Vern Raburn has introduced
his latest new design... an aircraft that maximizes the return on
investment his company has made, so far, in developing the twin
engine Eclipse 500 microjet.
Raburn (who is rumored to have been a great fan of such WWII
aircraft as the F-82) noted that, "We envisioned the Eclipse 1000
as a dual role aircraft (hence, our new dual logo...) -- the first
as an excellent, if unique, trainer for pilots looking to become
Bizjet owner/flyers for the first time (and to give them an
authentic single pilot feel throughout the training process), and
the other for whom the Eclipse 500 was only about half of what they
In a stunning change of events that has floored virtually every
general aviation pilot alive, and has all the other ones flipping
over in their graves, Phil Boyer, the wildly popular President of
the Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association (AOPA), has announced
his resignation from the organization.
The reason? He has accepted an offer to join Chicago Mayor Richard
Daley's re-election campaign. As campaign manager, no less.
Boyer will helm the Daley Re-Election Korps (D.A.R.K.), and
revealed his intentions in a surprise news conference this morning
at his Fredericksburg office.
Even though the clamor has died down somewhat over whether or
not President Bush completed his proper service commitment to the
Alabama Air National Guard, the leader of the USA has decided to
return to the cockpit.
White House spokesman Scott McClellan confirmed that President Bush
had been training "...for a few weeks... We've installed a full
motion F-16 simulator in the West Wing and the president has made
good use of it. He says that the transition from the F-102 to the
F-16 has not been all that difficult and is looking forward to
getting back to duty as soon as possible. He wants there to be no
questions as to whether he owes the American people any more
Skystar's Ed Downs says that, "It was time to develop an
airplane for the sport flyer who didn't care if Sport Pilot EVER
showed up. And boy howdy, we did just that."
What Downs is talking about the new Super Kitfox Turbo-Prop... a
two seat, side by side, SportPlane that guarantees that, "You'll
never lose a short take-off contest to anyone but a Bell Jet
After hearing literally hundreds of complaints about the high
price of admission for its annual AirVenture event, the EAA has
decided to amend its policy for the 2004 show. However, it may not
be to everyone's liking. The organization just announced that it
will no longer charge an admission price for the event. However, to
compensate for this loss of income, EAA officials advised that
there will be a "nominal "increase" in concession prices.
Birchwood, Alaska, Antares designer Sergey Zozulya has just
returned with his highly modified Antares Trike to report the news
of 'possibly' breaking the world speed record between Birchwood,
Alaska and Los Angeles.
After undergoing therapy from suffering what may be described as
wind damage to the lower jaw and cheek and temporary hearing loss
along with shoulder and elbow dislocations encountered during the
historic flight, Mr. Zozulya excitedly explains, “My total
time flight was one hour forty two minutes, thirteen
BRS, Inc., the world's leading maker or whole-aircraft emergency
parachutes, has announced a sweepstakes that will run throughout
"It's because of the saves," an insider told Aero-News on condition
of anonymity. "People are flying less, and they're flying more
carefully. They don't do nearly as much dumb [expletive] like fly
ultralights into thunderstorms and try to aerobat stuff made from
lawn-chair factory seconds. This adds up to fewer deployments.
We'll never see our next big milestone of 200 saves if we don't
take action. How can we save people unless they have an incentive
to try to kill themselves?"
You've seen JImmy Franklin fly it around the country and doing
things never thought possible with a normal Waco biplane. Now, you
can have your very own jet-powered Waco!. Jimmy Franklin, the
renowned airshow performer, has decided to mass produced a line of
aircraft based on his highly modified airplane. So, what's stopping
you from buying one?
As the 2004 presidential campaign continues into what promises
to be a long, hot political summer, the American symbol of peace
and democracy has become something of a hot-button item. At issue:
the Bush administration's plans to reconfigure the aircraft.
"I believe the aircraft should reflect the president," said Chief
of Staff Andrew Card. "Therefore, we're researching the
installation of a second right wing."
Famous Atheist Michael Newdow, fresh from his Supreme Court
campaign to strip "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance, has
filed suit against the estate of Transoceanic Airlines Captain
Lucky was one of 88 persons who perished when a Transoceanic jet
flying a military charter crashed April 1, 1989 in Gander,
Newfoundland. The root of Newdow's case is that Captain Lucky's
last words, recorded on the CVR of the ill-fated DC-8, were, "Oh,
NASA this week widened the search for a shuttle replacement --
making a point of talking with designers from the outer regions of
what Ronald Reagan used to call the "Evil Empire."
Perhaps the most innovative suggestion comes from Belgrade, Serbia:
Modify and fly the Yugo. NASA spokesman Bruce Buckingham says it's
Shock-jock Howard Stern and radio's right wingnut, Rush
Limbaugh, were secretely parachuted into Iraq early this week,
military sources tell ANN. The decision to send both radio
personalities into the war-torn country was made at the highest
levels of the Pentagon and the FCC.
Former Senator Jean Carnahan, wife of the late Gov. Mel Carnahan
(right), has made legal history by returning the $4 million award
that a Kansas City jury awarded her and members of her family
against Parker-Hannafin. The award was meant to compensate the
Carnahan's for the alleged negligence of Parker and several other
defendants in the death of her husband, the late Gov. Mel Carnahan,
her son Randy and a third party travelling in Randy's Cessna 335
when it crashed during the worst weather seen in the state in quite
A number of Mini-500 helicopter airframes that have been missing
since the contentious bankruptcy of developer Revolution
Helicopter, Inc. of Excelsior Springs, MO, turned up in an unlikely
place: buried under tons of sand at Iraq's al-Taqqadum air base,
west of Baghdad.
A White House statement said, "President George W. Bush always
believed that the Iraqis were concealing weapons of mass
destruction. This is proof enough for us. And no, the President
might be a pilot, but he isn't flying THAT."
Environmentalists across the world mourned "Suzy," an endangered
Piping Plover, as the entire US Air Force was grounded indefinitely
for what Chief of Staff Jack Ripper called "An unprecedented
Environmental Impact Standdown."
=A three-judge panel of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ordered
the move while considering a lawsuit by an environmental group. The
lawsuit charges that the Air Force should not be allowed to fly
until it proves it can do so without harming wildlife, including
birds and bugs. "We expect the suit to prevail," Judge Berkely J.
Bong wrote in the landmark opinion. "After all, birds are people
After forcing airlines to enact crazy policies that prohibit
passengers from standing up in airliners or waiting in line for the
use of the toilet during long-haul flights, the TSA has just
enacted a new rule that would prohibit passengers from complaining
about the carrier's level of service. The agency claims those that
don't like typical airline amenities like small seats, crabby
flight attendants or lost baggage are disturbing the peace and
causing undue aggression. For this reason, no passenger will be
allowed to complain about airline service at anytime commencing
from the seat is purchased until bags have been collected a the
The FAA says a competition that officials had hoped would end
forever issues of ATC fatigue, pay and benefits, has ended with
results less than what they hoped for.
"The idea here was to further automate the ATC system," said FAA
Administrator Marion Blakey. "Robots could stay in the tower 24/7.
They don't demand raises, they don't take breaks and they don't
whine about insurance benefits. This is a promising concept."
Recent photos leaked to the media have forced military officials
to deal with an alarming epidemic of cracks revealed by helicopter
maintenance crews, when inspecting their aircraft (ANN Note: See
photo, below, but be sure to check the enlarged version to 'assess'
the true impact of the problem).
Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University has received a special
grant from NASA and the FAA to develop faster than light technology
or FTL as it is called. NASA and FAA officials agree that the
"Harvard of the Skies" is considered the finest
aviation/aeronautical school in the world. There is no shortage of
creativity and genius on the staff and with many of the students.
The joint press release on the FTL project states "we feel Embry
Riddle is the best place to have this project brought to
E-RAU won the two trillion dollar grant over several other
contenders including MIT and the US Air Force Academy.
After years of forced slave labor by the Sun-'n-Fun Fly-in
organizers, event volunteers have decided to picket in front of the
fly-in's main gate later this month. Some of the long-time
volunteers are complaining about the low pay and inedible lunch
meat, while the younger workers complain that organizers promised
them the event was a "pick-up spot."
While its low-budget carrier has seen some limited success,
Delta airline's newest venture promises to be "real cool." Called
Swang Song, Delta's newest low-budget spinoff picks-up where Song
left off. Named after a famous Led Zeppelin album, Swan Song will
offer passengers a trip back in time to the 1960's. From
miniskirt-clad flight attendants to the complimentary "herbal" tea,
Swan Song promises to be an experience like no other.
Charred and twisted aluminum littered the scene yesterday after
a Washington press conference lapsed into chaos. The aluminum came
from the tinfoil hats worn by cranks who argued over the cause of
the explosion of TWA Flight 800 in 1996. Conspiracy theorist Nigel
Von Braun held the press conference to announce that the cause of
the explosion was "Resonance. The fundamental frequency of the
forks in business class meals was F two octaves below middle C;
that was the same frequency as the fuel tank. Some guy hit the edge
of his fork against the seatback table, and boom. We have been
neglectful of the fork fundamental frequency hazard."
A Dallas-based Dating service that offered an aviation twist to
the age-old dating game remained closed today after federal agents
seized its records last week.
Captain Date promised well-bred young women dates with high-earning
American Airlines captains and first officers. But because the
service did little or no fact checking, the girls wound up paired
with lowly regional pilots, freight dogs, and in one case a $9/hr
flight instructor who ate nothing but Heinz Baked Beans for a
Tartan Air Lines announced this week its 1Q 04 results,
reporting profits up steeply and declaring a dividend of 43 cents a
share, for the first time in the history of the no-frills airline.
"Outsourcing is the key," CEO Edmund McBargan told analysts during
a conference call. Tartan has always outsourced indirect cost
centers such as ticketing, customer service, information
technology, and baggage claim, mostly with long-time outsourcing
partner Pilotless Technology of Mumbai and Delhi, India.
The change that brought the airline new levels of profit is the
actual outsourcing of piloting tasks. "It happens at the point
where the UAV technology vector intersects the cost of labour
vector," University of Minnesota economist Andy Borowitz explained.
"At that point, you are d
"OK, folks... ANN did not suddenly
lose its mind (though, there ARE moments... oh, never mind).
Check the DATE. 04.01.04.
It's April FIRST... a/k/a APRIL Fool's Day.
If you believed ANY of this stuff, you have been fooled,
bamboozled, and otherwise become yet another victim of our annual
attempt to enjoy the First day Of April with a little imagination
and a LOT of nonsense. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we
Source: ANN's Jim Campbell, making
sure that ANN readers checked the date before they got too involved
in any of the stories we publish on April 1st of each
year. Happy April Fool's Day!
Passengers on a British Airways 747 inbound from London's
Heathrow Airport to Atlanta were treated to a not-so-rare display
of military hardware when they were intercepted by Air Force F-15's
some 250 miles off the eastern seaboard last night.
The pair of fighters, armed to the teeth and then some, were
dispatched after the captain of the BA flight reported that one of
his cabin crew was having trouble with a passenger, 70-year-old
Thelma Mae Johnson, a resident of the small town of Sweetwater,
Georgia, who had been visiting her sister just outside London.
Rush Limbaugh has received a special issuance third class
medical and student pilot certificate from the Federal Aviation
Administration's AeroMedical Office.
While we admit that the fact that Rush Limbaugh wants to learn to
fly is in and of itself a newsworthy item, we at ANN were rather
astounded by the time it took for the special issuance medical to
be issued, considering the circumstances.
Today is April 1st. The application was forwarded by Mr. Limbaugh's
AME to Oklahoma City on March 23rd. You do the math.
AD NUMBER: 2103-04-01
MANUFACTURER: Millennium Starship Systems,
SUBJECT: Airworthiness Directive 2103-04-01
SUMMARY: This amendment supersedes Airworthiness
Directive (AD) 2103-26-16, which applies to certain Millennium
Starship Systems, Inc. (Millennium) Models B2, J3, and G4 series
hyperspace transport vehicles (HSVs). AD 2103-26-16 requires you to
inspect for missing laser-rivets on the right hand side of the warp
containment vessel and, if necessary, re-install using friction