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Thu, Apr 01, 2004

High-Flying Grant Puts Embry-Riddle in the Fast Lane

By Aleta*

Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University has received a special grant from NASA and the FAA to develop faster than light technology or FTL as it is called. NASA and FAA officials agree that the "Harvard of the Skies" is considered the finest aviation/aeronautical school in the world. There is no shortage of creativity and genius on the staff and with many of the students. The joint press release on the FTL project states "we feel Embry Riddle is the best place to have this project brought to fruition."

E-RAU won the two trillion dollar grant over several other contenders including MIT and the US Air Force Academy. The decision to place the unprecedented grant with a university was based on several factors, including peoplepower available to work on the project, land availability for testing purposes and the FAA's ability to visit the beach during Spring Break while they keep tabs on the progress of the project. Allocating the grant to the most logical choice, NASA had several drawbacks leading officials to a university based solution.

NASA spokesperson, Ms. Titan Tieu states "while NASA would love to get its hands on that kind of money, we are too busy trying to figure out how to hide the cities the rovers have found on Mars, especially since the President points to Mars as the next frontier and this FTL drive may just get us there.".

In charge of the project for Embry-Riddle will be Dr. Rocket, a former NASA engineer who has been teaching engineering courses to engineering students in the engineering curriculum. When asked about the grant Dr. Rocket stated "Cha-ching!!"

When asked about the availability of personnel Dr. Rocket said "Are you kidding, everyone on staff is chomping at the bit to submit their ideas and be part of history." Some of the ideas have already started to flow in, some ideas are reminiscent of the Star Trek transporter (why even bother with a ship), others favor the design of Serenity, the transport ship in the sci-fi series Firefly.

"Serenity was cool looking" commented the engineering student who submitted the proposal and whose 4.0 average has won him the ability to be part of the FTL team. When asked about becoming part of history the student replied "Dr. Rocket has my idea but I don't have time to work on the project, come on man, this is DAYTONA BEACH."

FMI: www.launch-em-if-ya-got-em.com

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