To Be Used In Pax Evacuation From Frozen AA, JetBlue
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL
EDITION: Both American Airlines and JetBlue have raised
their right hands, er, wings, to pledge that passengers who
experienced interminable winter weather waits on the tarmac this
winter will not have to sit for ten or more hours again next year.
(Oy! The toilets!)
As the publicity surrounding those calamities went worldwide and
passengers were more than happy to detail their onboard experiences
("The flatulence was terrible!), the airlines are being proactive
with the purchase of snowmobiles to evacuate passengers from
aircraft, should the need arise, during next year's weather
"We have pledged that this winter's fiascos will not, I repeat,
will not happen again. Our passengers deserve more," said one
The number of snowmobiles purchased, as well as the
manufacturer, has not been disclosed. It was confirmed, however,
that no Saint Bernards were acquired by any of the airlines,
although one anonymous representative noted that a shot of whiskey
might be helpful in such situations.
"I would have paid anything to get off that plane," said one AA
Flight 1348 passenger of her December 29, 2006 flight, where she
and her fellow pasengers spent eight hours on the tarmac at
Austin-Bergstrom International Airport (AUS).
"Although I pledged never to step foot on that airline again,
well with these new snowmobiles, that might be fun. A little quirky
perhaps, but what a ride to the terminal!"
Airline officials are hoping that the word-of-mouth network will
work in their favor this time. (You know, if you're unhappy with
the service you tell all of your friends, and they tell their
"Making this announcement at this time, while there is still
snow on the ground in some places, brings the point home that we
will not be in the same position as last year," said another
airline director. "We hope our passengers will give us another
chance. In fact, some may look forward to being delayed on the
tarmac just to get that snowmobile ride to the terminal; what a
story they can bring home with them!"