ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION REALTIME
REPORTING: Hot on the heels of global oil marketer
Halliburton's move of its headquarters from Houston, TX to Dubai in
the United Arab Emirates, the Federal Aviation Administration
announced this week it will also relocate from Washington, DC.
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: Recent ANN
requests for data under the Freedom of Information Act have
revealed that the GA Industry's criticism of FAA Administrator
Marion Blakey is apparently having an effect -- at least about her
lack of a Pilot's license. The Administrator, God Bless Her, has
been attempting to take and pass her Private Pilot written exam.
Unfortunately, ANN has documented at least four attempts on her
part to pass the exam... all of which failed to achieve a passing
"What Do I Care -- As Long As They Launch Over The Lake"
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: In a move
heralded by space enthusiasts and land-use advocates alike, on
Sunday -- the fourth anniversary of the bulldozing of Meigs Field
-- Chicago mayor Richard Daley signed a bill authorizing the
creation of a commercial spaceport on the land once occupied by the
hallowed general aviation airport.
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: "Sick and tired
of all the hype... that's what we are," says an anonymous Boeing
spokesmen just prior to the surprise roll-out of the doubly
fascinating new Boeing 747-38.
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: Building on the
enthusiastic market response to its automotive-inspired Remote
Keyless Entry option, Columbia Aircraft Manufacturing has announced
its latest aero-innovation: remote start.
ANN To Bring Intense Realism To The Aviation Public
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: Despite
intense secrecy surrounding ANN's forthcoming "ANN 10.0" iteration,
details were accidentally released this week when ANN Managing
Editor, Rob Finfrock, let a few tidbits slip out while chatting up
a stewardess at a pub near DFW.
Private Spaceflight Company Raises Price For Passenger
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: "Whooo-wee!" With
that pronouncement, Scaled Composites test pilot Mike Melville
heralded in a new era of privately funded, commercial spaceflight
for the masses last month... and he did so much faster than
originally intended, Scaled founder Burt Rutan told ANN in an
Silver Cirri May Be Equipped With "Rivet" Patterns
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: "A living tribute
to America's storied general aviation aircraft heritage." That's
what Cirrus Design co-founder Alan Klapmeier calls his company's
latest innovation... commemorative "rivethead" appliques, that may
be applied to the fuselages of all SR22 aircraft painted in the
company's recently announced "Sterling" color.
To Be Used On State Business, Presidential Campaign
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: Bowing to
increasing political pressure from voters, New Mexico Governor --
and aspiring presidential candidate -- Bill Richardson announced
last week he would agree to give up the Cessna Citation Bravo
business jet purchased at considerable expense by the state two
years ago, in exchange for five Eclipse 500 very-light-jets.
Aircraft Producer Aims To Corner Market Utilizing "Untapped
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: What many
originally thought was simply a free lunch junket away from the
Wichita manufacturer's factory, ended up being a jaw-dropping
announcement from Cessna which left the entire press corps
scrambling for ink. Cessna Aircraft CEO Jack Pelton stunned invited
attendees and press officials at an impromptu picnic at Cheney
Reservoir, 25 miles West of Wichita, KS.
Liberty Aerospace To Be Renamed Nattapong Sovandara
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: Citing her
longtime commitment to giving those born into disadvantaged
circumstances an opportunity to better their lives and realize
their inherent abilities, last week actress Angelina Jolie
announced her latest adoption... of Melbourne, FL-based planemaker
NOTAM Issued For Investigation Of Army/Navy Rematch
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: In an incident
believed to be the first of its kind, on Tuesday a Predator
unmanned aerial vehicle operated by US Army airmen successfully
intercepted another Predator UAV, this one flown by US Navy crews,
in the skies over Arizona.
To Be Used In Pax Evacuation From Frozen AA, JetBlue
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: Both
American Airlines and JetBlue have raised their right hands, er,
wings, to pledge that passengers who experienced interminable
winter weather waits on the tarmac this winter will not have to sit
for ten or more hours again next year. (Oy! The toilets!)
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: An ounce of
prevention may be worth a pound of cure, to eliminate the
possibility of an orbital mental breakdown calamity, and another
Lisa Nowak-style public relations nightmare for NASA.
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: A twin-engine
plane, type unknown, on its way from Minneapolis' Flying Cloud
Airport (FCM) to Marty's Tranquility Base, Prior Lake, (45D) ended
up landing on top of the largest mall in the America, with the
only apparent injuries sustained to the pilot's self-esteem...
and his credit cards.
"I Don't See Dead People" Regulation Aimed At Easing Onboard
ANN 04.01.07 SPECIAL EDITION: The proliferation
of recent stories of people who have passed away during commercial
airline flights -- and have then been moved to unexpected places
onboard -- brings the most popular line from the 1999 movie "The
Sixth Sense" -- "I see dead people" -- to a whole new level.
A group of talented, dedicated, and thoroughly
freakin' loony aero-writers hone their comedic talents and
vent their pent-up frustrations at various aero-issues once a year.
(They spend the remaining 364 days convincing their targets
that, c'mon, it was just a joke.) Savor the best... the
worst... and the "whah the...?" of Aero-News' past April 1st
Special Editions. Aero-Collect them all!
FMI: ANN 4/1/03, ANN 4/1/04, ANN 4/1/05,
"OK, folks... ANN did not suddenly
lose its mind (though, there ARE moments... oh, never mind).
Check the DATE. 04.01.07.
It's April FIRST... a/k/a APRIL Fool's Day.
If you believed ANY of this stuff, you have been fooled,
bamboozled, and otherwise become yet another victim of our annual
attempt to enjoy the First day Of April with a little imagination
and a LOT of nonsense. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we
Source: ANN's Jim Campbell, making sure that
ANN readers checked the date before they got too involved in any of
the stories we publish on April 1st of each year. Happy April
Issue Date: March 30, 2007 at 2046 UTC
Location: Lakeland, Florida
Beginning Date and Time: April 17, 2007 at 0000 UTC
Ending Date and Time: April 23, 2007 at 2359 UTC
Reason for NOTAM: Firefighting Operations
Type: Maserati-Induced Brush Fire
Replaced NOTAM(s): N/A
Issue Date: March 28, 2007 at 1433 UTC
Location: US/Mexico Border region
Beginning Date and Time: March 28, 2007 at 1500 UTC
Ending Date and Time: Until Further Notice
Reason for NOTAM: Accident Investigation, Army/Navy Aerial
Replaced NOTAM(s): N/A
Pilots May Contact: Albuquerque (ZAB) Center, 505-555-1234