Screeners Work For Kibble

04.01.06 'Special' Edition: Let's face it: many of us feel that, no matter what TSA screeners are paid to look through our carry-on luggage and invade our personal space... it's probably too much. Well, that's not an issue at all for some of the newest employees hired by the Department of Homeland Security, who literally work for food.

Take Abby, for example. A five-year-old female schnauzer, Abby (right) started her job last week "manning" the Gate 33 security checkpoint at DFW International's Terminal B, as part of a pilot program the airport unveiled last week.

In the course of an hour on a busy Monday morning -- in addition to allowing 453 law-abiding passengers to pass through the security checkpoint in record time -- Abby also successfully screened out a passenger (later identified as an undercover TSA officer) who attempted to foil security by sneaking contraband narcotics through the checkpoint.

With an authoritative bark, Abby quickly alerted her coworker, the bipedal Peter Dunville, to pull the passenger aside for more thorough screening -- at which time the narcotics were discovered.

"That little dog's amazing," Dunville said.

While drug-sniffing dogs have been used at several venues for many years -- including airports -- only recently have scientists been able to determine just how effective dogs can be at, well, sniffing out other trouble. Extensive research has been done with dogs who, for example, can actually sniff out some forms of cancer in a person's body.

Some dogs can also sense when someone will soon experience a neurological event such as a seizure -- often before the person realizes it themselves.

And, of course, many believe dogs can often "sense" when there's going to be trouble... whether it's a natural event such as an earthquake, or when someone just has a malicious nature about them. Such was the case last week, when Abby alerted Dunville to a suspicious-looking woman who was later revealed to be an escaped convict from a local minimum security prison.

"She clearly wasn't a dog person," Dunville said of the woman, who was led away in handcuffs by airport officers.

And the best part of all, is Abby's salary is 1/50 what it would cost the government to have one human TSA screener in the same position... nevermind that Abby proved so effective, she actually replaced three human TSA workers at the checkpoint.

One of those displaced screeners -- who now works the Drive-Thru window at a Carrollton, TX Burger King -- told ANN he resents the implication a dog is better at doing his (former) job than he was.

"Damn b*tch," he muttered, before he unsuccessfully processed a customer's request for extra onion rings -- giving them a Hershey's pie instead.

ANN also watched the aforementioned employee as he pulled several pickles off of the customer's hamburger, before crudely replacing it in the bag.

In addition to rueful stares from displaced former TSA employees, Abby's presence -- as well as her 15 fellow canines, of varied breeds, now working security at other checkpoints around DFW -- has also caught the attention of several animal rights groups... but not for the reasons one might think.

"She seems to enjoy the work, and she clearly relishes the attention -- and the treats," said Pamela Gunderson with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. "We see no problem with employing dogs at airports, so long as they receive a livable wage and equitable treatment."

Gunderson added the only concern PETA has with Abby working at DFW is the airport's checkered history with handling animals -- specifically, last year's error by a TSA employee, that unfortunately led a bomb squad to blow up a dog.

"We don't expect that to be a problem now, though, because there are fewer human TSA employees around to make such a grievous error," Gunderson added.

FMI: www.peta.org, www.dfwairport.com