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Tue, Apr 01, 2003

V-22 Osprey Update

Pentagon Makes Surprise Move

Orders for the V-22 Osprey and all its variants have been canceled by every military branch. One former booster in the military, who requested his name be kept from you, explained, "When I was a young Lieutenant, the Osprey looked like a pretty good bet -- fast, VTOL, and all that. But, as I matured and the Osprey didn't, it started to look like less of a good thing."

He continued, "Now that I'm wearing these two stars, I realize just how long it's been. Heck, that program's been canceled more often than my credit cards -- and its track record is just as bad."

Operating limitations aside, the Osprey could be a good machine, if it just didn't have to perform in combat and near-combat situations. The BA 609, which incorporates a lot of Osprey technology, promises to be one great machine, for the handful of PGA stars who can afford one.

What to do with all those V-22 parts?

Because the Osprey was, above all, a jobs program, the fact that nobody really wanted one wasn't an obstacle to its production. The result is several warehouses, full of Osprey parts -- and only one way to move them.

The world's biggest kit aircraft!

The DoD has just announced that the V-22 Osprey will be offered as a kit aircraft, known as the 'Osprey EX.' Since it's really already been paid for seven or eight times, the Pentagon can offer civilian buyers who sign the proper waivers some really good deals -- just 3 cents a pound over scrap value. That makes an Osprey kit cost just $24,000, plus crating and shipping (typically about $55,000).

In a flight test by a leading kit airplane magazine, the writer extolled the handling of the Osprey: "Virtually everything I imagined it could do, it could do -- faultless hover, gentle descents -- and, with no loading except me and the DoD's sales rep, it also demonstrated incredible vertical performance. This machine accelerates (empty) like it's running from dozens of angry families!" [Note: the key word was, 'imagined,' as no one from the magazine actually was ever in such a machine. That's not a requirement of their 'test pilots,' however --ed.]

It's not a trivial project...

Estimated assembly time, once the proper tools are procured (tool kit, $63,529) is approximately 70,000 hours. There's a two-hydraulic-system option (not recommended) that takes just 62,500 hours to assemble. The DoD recommends the Osprey EX model be assembled in a hangar. 14,000 square feet is considered "an adequate size," workspace, according to our official source.

Builders shouldn't be discouraged by the high build times -- there's a 'quick-build' kit available, as well. For just an extra $32 million, a '51% kit' is offered. That cuts assembly time down to just three lifetimes or so. Most customers are opting for this, we're told.

The DoD will not be maintaining any spare parts for the machine; but its current inventory, built over two decades, should last "long enough for the Zoche engines to come on line, anyway," according to our man at the Pentagon.

FMI: www.dod_junkstuff4U.mil

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