Scraps E-Flight; "Thirstier Is Better!" New Mantra

ANN APRIL 1st "SPECIAL" EDITION: The leadership of Sonex Aircraft, LLC announced Tuesday a new initiative to further increase sales in the United States by opting to pursue a more proven, heavier-traveled road in the quest for commerce: marketing products which demand higher fuel consumption.

In a morning press conference hosted by an extremely enthusiastic Wittman Regional Airport FBO and fuel supplier, Sonex Aircraft, LLC Founder and President John Monnett pledged to follow the lead of domestic auto manufacturers, further validated by the line of heavy duty import trucks and sport utility vehicles, in providing high fuel-burn vehicles to the American consumer. Monnett unveiled a new program, dubbed the I-Flight Initiative.

"The Experimental aircraft fleet in this country is filled with aircraft and engines which burn 8-10 gph or more in cruise, and demand for these aircraft doesn¹t seem to be slowing down in the least," stated Monnett. "I want to give the flying public the aircraft that they¹ve been asking for, and getting from other manufacturers, all these years."

"Sometimes I think that we really missed the boat allowing ourselves to get distracted by all that silly E-Flight stuff at Oshkosh last year," confided Sonex CEO Jeremy Monnett. "I feel that enough time has passed since the unveiling of our E-Flight Initiative at EAA AirVenture Oshkosh 2007 that folks will probably forgive us for just dropping the whole thing, assuming they haven't completely forgotten about it by now. Additionally, this new Inefficiency Initiative will just be a hell of a lot easier to accomplish."

Company officials did not downplay the role of the current presidential campaign season in this new strategy, expressing disappointment that global warming has not played a more significant role in the election. "Besides, most of our conservative customer demographic doesn't seem to have much patience for those tree hugger types, anyway," concluded John Monnett.

Tuesday's press conference also featured the unveiling of an exciting new Sonex research and development prototype. While not a completely new aircraft, the Jabiru 3300-powered Sonex built and owned by Sonex employee Kerry Fores was heavily modified as part of the first steps for this new fuel Inefficiency Initiative.

All 1/8 inch NPT fuel fittings and hoses have been replaced by industrial fire suppression hose and fittings, the gascolator has been replaced by a new high-capacity filtration system custom-built for the project by Culligan (note: the official "Culligan Man" spokesman announced later their new aviation division will soon unveil plans to make high-capacity fuel filter systems available via Wicks Aircraft Supply and Aircraft Spruce and Specialty) and the AeroCarb's ultra fuel-efficient, no-float body with fine-tunable needle assembly has been removed and replaced by a float chamber fabricated from the technologically-advanced 5-liter Heineken Draught Keg.

"Man that six cylinder engine sure can suck fuel when fitted with a float carb," remarked Fores.

"We considered other sources for float chambers, but procurement of the Heineken unit was significantly more enjoyable," he continued. It wasn't all fun and games, however, as Sonex insiders reported an incident with the international relations team tasked with float bowl procurement, in which Sonex Warehouse Manager Jason Algra was nearly killed by the blonde dancing Heineken robot after having made an inquiry regarding her sister.

The new prototype has not gone without its own share of growing pains, however. The aircraft's cowl cooling inlets are soon to be closed-off in an effort to bring temperatures back up to a level that will not endanger the longevity of the engine.

"The laser-cut and pre-formed high volume Universal Jabiru Cooling Baffle kit keep the CHT's and oil temperatures ice cold when running our new hyper-rich mixture setup to maximize fuel consumption," commented Fores, "The engine actually had condensation on it after I landed from yesterday's test flight." Similar provisions are being planned for the first I-Flight AeroVee powered prototype aircraft. In an unexpected move, Sonex lead engineer Pete Buck unveiled calculations showing that a shortened exhaust fitted with a 100LL afterburner will actually help solve the engine cooling problem, while further increasing fuel burn and contributing approximately 1.5 percent more thrust.

"This represents a very small step in the right direction," commented John Monnett. "I won't be happy until we're burning over 35 gallons per hour, however. This may finally give me justification to build a jet after all these years!"

FMI: www.sonexaircraft.com