Tue, Apr 01, 2008
Mammoth Aircraft Creates Extensive Sun Blockage And Resultant
Climate Change
ANN APRIL 1st "SPECIAL" EDITION: Airbus's
gigantic (i.e., REALLY REALLY BIG) A380 airliner is under attack
again... and by a lobby that it once courted quite aggressively.
Following a NASA study of radical, sporadic and unexplained
climatological issues all over the planet, the mystery was solved
when an astute scientist (who reportedly owns over 1000 shares
of Boeing stock) correlated the climatological problems with the
growing Airbus A380 flight schedule.
NASA Climatologist Ernst Overcast was able to conclusively prove
that the mammoth area of the A380, at normal cruising altitudes
created such a large swath of sun blockage that a "climate shift
was inevitable." The matter was immediately seized upon as the
cause celebre by a number of environmentally sympathetic persons
and organizations. GreenPeace promised to block access to A380
manufacturing facilities worldwide and send nasty notes to A380
operators's Mothers, to boot.
Numerous musicians, including Barbara Streisand have called for
the airplane to be outlawed and forbidden from flying over much of
the Earth's surface while organizing anti-A380 protest concerts
(typified by a mass influx/migration of performer's Gulfstreams
close to show time). Former VP Al Gore is rumored to be filming a
follow-up documentary at the moment, tentatively titled "An
Inconvenient But Way-Too-Damned-Big Airplane." Oscar voters report
great enthusiasm for the upcoming project.
Airbus is promising major changes tot he airplane in order to
appease the environmental objections. A new refractive paint is
being evaluated that will allow the aircraft to "redirect" the
sun's light around the airplane in such a way as to negate much of
the shadowing effect that the current aircraft makes happen.
In the meantime, Airbus is buying "A380-Loads" of carbon-offsets
in the hopes that the gesture will give them sufficient time to
engineer a fix.
More News
Aero Linx: International Business Aviation Council Ltd IBAC promotes the growth of business aviation, benefiting all sectors of the industry and all regions of the world. As a non->[...]
"During the annual inspection of the B-24 “Diamond Lil” this off-season, we made the determination that 'Lil' needs some new feathers. Due to weathering, the cloth-cove>[...]
Also: Bushcat Woes, Hummingbird 300 SL 4-Seat Heli Kit, Carbon Cub UL The newest Junkers is a faithful recreation that mates a 7-cylinder Verner radial engine to the airframe offer>[...]
Also: Seaplane Pilots Association, Rotax 916’s First Year, Gene Conrad After a decade and a half of struggling with the FAA and other aero-politics, G100UL is in production a>[...]
Also: Martha King Scholarship, Montaer Grows, Textron Updates Pistons, FlySto The FAA is hiring thousands of air traffic controllers, but the window to apply will only be open for >[...]