Dumb, Dumb, Dumb
By ANN Correspondent Kevin O'Brien
Long Island's Newsday called it, "A
spirited debate on presidential politics aboard an Alaska-bound
airplane" that " turned into an international incident." I call it
dumb. Have you ever tried to change anyone's mind about politics?
OK, have you tried to do it by bellowing and poking them with your
finger for emphasis? Not to mention, have you tried this while
you're drunk? Would you expect to succeed?
Well, Michael Husar of Huntington Station (NY) apparently
thought this was, if not a brilliant plan, at least smart enough to
execute. To make it better, he did it on an airplane, flying into a
drunken rage at his seatmate on Northwest 849 from Minneapolis to
Anchorage Sept. 10th. You see, she's a Bush supporter, and Husar is
a thoroughgoing Kerry man -- although you wouldn't blame Kerry for
it, if he chose to decline this particular endorsement.
Husar wasn't content with loud hostility to the Republican lady
who had the poor luck to sit near him, but when her complaints
brought a flight attendant he, as child psychologists say, "acted
out," dumping out his drink, carrying on, and loudly resisting the
flight attendant. So Husar got himself a new seatmate -- a Federal
air marshal, as the plane diverted to the nearest airfield:
Winnepeg, Manitoba. (No word on whether the air marshal had
politics at all, let alone whether they were more tolerable to Mr
Husar).
In Winnepeg, the plane touched down just long enough for Husar
to get the bum's rush off the plane into the waiting arms of
Canadian cops, who threw him into the drunk tank for several days
of drying out. On the 15th he was finally released, after paying
C$4,300 bail, to make his way home, under two strict stipulations
from the judge: no drinking, and no flying. (If you ever wondered
who takes Greyhound these days, there's one answer for ya).
Michael Husar isn't a kid; he's 58 years old, and retired VA
nurse (Gee, I knew I'd seen that attitude somewhere before). You
would think he'd be heading home contritely -- his wife, Linda,
according to Newsday's Alfonso Castillo, is "very concerned and
upset" -- but instead, he's still raging, threatening through a
lawyer to sue the airline. The airline for its part wants the
estimated $10,000 in fuel it cost to make an unscheduled stop to
kick off Mr Husar's cold-turkey rehab, so he may have all kinds of
reasons for going to court in the coming months. Even if nobody
sues anybody, there are still two provincial and one federal charge
for Mr Husar to answer in the Manitoba courts, the most serious of
which could stall his now-postponed Alaska vacation (and put a
crimp in his drinking) for two full years. At the barest minimum,
the mean drunk gets a lesson in citizenship -- an expensive lesson,
and taught by sanctimonious Canadians, just to rub it in.
Occam's Razor tells me that nothing
that unusual is happening here, just one more jerk who hasn't got
enough oxygen in his brain to handle an 8,000 foot cabin altitude
after a little drinkie-poo in the terminal lounge. Those two things
come together with someone who is already an overbearing jerk on
the ground (Linda says he gets "animated." What, like Fred
Flintstone? Or did she really intend to say, "mean as a snake?")
and you get air rage every time. The only incident I can recall
where the out-of-control passenger wasn't drunk, he was on
speed.
I can't say I know which is dumber: trying to change someone's
mind on politics while drunk (it's an undertaking seldom crowned
with success when carried out stone sober), or acting obstreperous
on the plane ride to your vacation. Also... imagine how persuasive
this approach was! I bet everybody on the plane that was undecided
is now all in favor of Kerry. Oh, yeah. "Honey, I've made up my
mind -- that there mean drunk has persuaded me."
Now, if I was Dan Rather, I'd do anything for the documents that
prove Karl Rove was behind it.
ANN's Daily Aero-Term (04.20.24): Light Gun
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