Pack Less, Weigh Less... Pay Less! | Aero-News Network
Aero-News Network
RSS icon RSS feed
podcast icon MP3 podcast
Subscribe Aero-News e-mail Newsletter Subscribe

** Airborne 11.24.14 ** HD iPad-Friendly -- Airborne 11.24.14 **
** Airborne 11.21.14 ** HD iPad-Friendly -- Airborne 11.21.14 **
** Airborne 11.19.14 ** HD iPad-Friendly -- Airborne 11.19.14 **

Mon, Jun 09, 2008

Pack Less, Weigh Less... Pay Less!

Wish We'd Thought About This Around April 1st!

It's a real Cinderella story, folks! In this day and age of airlines falling on hard times, along comes the story of Salamander, MO native Dick Derrie... and his latest revolutionary venture into the air carrier industry.

"Rising up" from childhood poverty as the son of a fisherman, Derrie only ate Omega-3 soaked line-caught trout -- perhaps the reason for his ingenuity in business leading to his present-day venture into the people carrying business.

In 1994, while operating Missouri’s largest generic cola bottling plant, Derrie sent his first express package and was struck with an idea. "Heck," he reasoned to himself. "These sons-of-a-gun are making me pay by the pound! Now what if we ran an airline the same way..."

The idea laid around in his fishy brain until 2005 when Dick saw a movie on the results of global warming. If something wasn’t done now, he might have grandchildren that wouldn’t know the joys of gator hunting from the back of a truck! It was then he decided it was time to launch Derrie-Air, the worlds first carbon-neutral airline.

Forget the lures of special fares, 21-day advance purchases, and holiday specials -- Derrie-Air rewards dainty and dieting passengers with delicious deals on airfare to their destination. Penny-pinching passengers pay by the pound to perch on the plane.

In addition, the Earth-friendly airline will plant a tree to offset every pound of carbon the planes release into the atmosphere... so even the most diehard environ-nuts have reason to cheer for the upstart carrier.

Is Derrie a modern-day combination of Fred Smith and Johnny Appleseed? We think so! We also think those of you who read this far without thinking this was a joke may need to brush-up on your blue collar comedy.

The jokesters over at Philadelphia Media Holdings pulled together the parody airline -- complete with promotional site, and advertising in several Philly-area newspapers -- to see what kind of response they could get in a "discussion on a timely environmental topic of interest to all citizens."

You have to admit, in this age of airlines charging for every little item, the basic concept of a "pay-by-weigh" airline has some merit -- even ANN's 250-lb. Managing Editor thinks so -- though it would undoubtably fail to get off the ground over personal rights issues. Remember the hub-bub when Southwest started asking its more zaftig flyers to pay for two seats?

Still... we get the impression that even with air fares tied to personal poundage, Derrie Air passengers would still be treated with more respect than on a typical American, Northwest or United flight.

After all, consider these amenities: "gorgeous air hosts and hostesses, golden-age Rat Pack films, top-shelf vodka Martinis, on-demand video blackjack, spacious private washrooms outfitted with porcelain fixtures and gilded faucets, gourmet snacks, on-board masseuses, loofah scrubs and, of course, digital cable!" (Yes, that would be one looooong cable.)

Oh well, enough dreaming -- back to looking for a good fare to Dubuque for next week.

FMI: www.flyderrie-air.com

Advertisement

More News

Airborne 11.24.14: FAA Ready To Restrict UAVs?, Sonex's 500th!, Trig TT31 AML

Also: SWAPA Files For NMB, XCOR Milestone, RV Video Tips, Levil's New APP, Ready For AirVenture? In breaking news, ANN has learned that the upcoming regs for UAVs are likely to be >[...]

Is The FAA's UAV Policy Imminent?

Some Details Leaking On The Web, AMA Ready With Response Some details of what the FAA plans to propose when it releases its UAV policy are starting to leak out onto the Internet, a>[...]

Airborne 11.21.14: AEA's 3Q/14 Report, Fantasy Of Flight, Modernizing The NAS

Also: Holland Wants Gold, FAA Strangling UAVs?, RAF WWII Trainer For Sale, Bf109s Live, Georgia v Aerospace Engineers The Aircraft Electronics Association has released its third-qu>[...]

Airborne 11.24.14: FAA Ready To Restrict UAVs?, Sonex's 500th!, Trig TT31 AML

Also: SWAPA Files For NMB, XCOR Milestone, RV Video Tips, Levil's New APP, Ready For AirVenture? In breaking news, ANN has learned that the upcoming regs for UAVs are likely to be >[...]

ANN's Daily Aero-Linx (11.25.14)

FAA Air Traffic Controller Workforce Plan The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) plans to hire and train tens of thousands of air traffic controllers over the next decade. FAA's>[...]

blog comments powered by Disqus



Advertisement

Advertisement

Podcasts

Advertisement

© 2007 - 2014 Web Development & Design by Pauli Systems, LC