Santa Needs A Heavy-Lifter To Deliver Toys, Give Reindeer A
Break
Rumors continue to
swirl down form the North Pole suggesting that the world's most
renowned on-time delivery expert has chosen the Comp Air 7SLX to
replace his fleet of aging reindeer. According to current rumors,
the geriatric reindeer all have health problems; many are related
to joint fatigue from the unusually high number of landing cycles
they experienced.
Other reindeer teams have been used in the past, however due to
their high maintenance cost, and ever increasing cost of FAA
Approved hazardous in-flight waste collection systems and toxic
emissions, Santa decided to move to a fixed wing.
"It was a tough
decision, but I had to get into something more modern" Santa said.
Santa picked the Aerocomp for its load carrying capacity, speed and
low maintenance requirements. "It was easy really" Santa said. "The
Cherokee and Cessna 172 simply didn't have the capacity or the
speed. Other homebuilts fit the bill for speed but none could
compare on load carrying capacity".
Santa is having a few extra special touches added to his Comp
Air 7SLX dubbed the "Toy Monster". In addition to the normal IFR
panel consisting of a Garmin 430 and KX155 radio, Santa is having a
special transmitter installed that will track his location on
NEXRAD automatically. "This will save the government millions"
commented General Nodeeratall. "By tracking Santa automatically we
can all go home early instead of tracking his position on the
scope.
Santa is also installing
a FLIC (Forward Looking Inferred Camera) to sense hot chimneys from
the air.
"With the FLIC unit I can tell which side is best to approach a
roof top, not to mention the time saved not getting burned" said
Santa.
Currently, Blitzen is attending flight school to take over
Rudolf's navigation responsibilities. There will be a specially
mounted seat next to Santa to accommodate the reindeer's
ergonomics. Santa's seat has also been modified to match the
comfort and ease of boarding and exiting.
Santa is also attending flight training, mainly in the subjects
of short field landing and takeoff and high speed operations. Since
Santa routinely lands in short distances, and takes off down-slope,
the training is being conducted in a mountainous area.
The airplane is almost complete.
The plane is currently being finished at the North Pole where
Santa's elves quickly adjusted from wood glue to composite
construction, though the elves insisted that a set of traditional
antlers be mounted on the airplane. After much debate about the
loss of cruise speed the elves eventually won out.
With the addition of the Comp Air 7SLX to this year's delivery
schedule this Christmas is expected to go smoother than ever
before. Don't expect to see Santa's Toy Monster at Oshkosh though,
Santa has told us that he is going to be spending the summer in
Cancun working on his tan.
So this year Santa's cheery "and to all a good night" will be
heard with the signature sound of the Walter M601 Turbine spooling
up and lighting off.
Merry Christmas!