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Tue, Apr 01, 2003

Red China Denies Military Base on Moon

"Great Vantage Point," Says Minister of Peace

The communist Chinese state denies it has achieved one of its oft-stated goals: that it's building a 'scientific' base on the Moon.

Taiwan's government is skeptical, not that the base is there, but that the base is to be used for strictly scientific ends. No other government in the world, however, would officially comment on the ridiculous Taiwanese claims, photographs, and taped interviews with defectors from the mainland Chinese space program.

Mini-Mao, new Chinese Premier, said Thursday in Beijing, "The claims from our rebel state are impossible to prove."

The country's Minister of Peace, (retired general) 'Tianamen Tommy' Cheung, offered proof of his nation's inability to sustain sufficient presence on the Earth's largest satellite: "It is a well-established and scientifically-proven fact," he said, "that our people must eat frequently." He continued, "Half an hour after eating, they are again hungry. The launch schedule for supplies uses all our resources. There is no capacity left over, for anything other than selected menu items."



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